Getting All Kubler-Ross On Brad Lidge

Fellow Phillies fans, I don't know about you, but Brad Lidge's blown save last night (his 11th of the season) really took the piss out of me. Hours after the Florida Marlins rallied for 2 runs in the 9th to beat the Phillies 7-6, I found myself staring blankly at nothing in particular when the reality of the situation finally, certainly struck me. This is who Brad Lidge is. For this year anyway, this is what we can expect from him. Acceptance. Watching Lidge pitch this season, I had completely worked my way through the Kubler-Ross model, more commonly known as the 5 stages of grief. You are probably familiar with them: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So as Brad Lidge threatens to single-handedly ruin the Phillies' chances of a World Series repeat in 2009, allow me to share my grieving process with you.

Denial. Lidge blew his first save of the season on April 18, at home against San Diego. It was his 4th opportunity of the year, and he had allowed runs in 2 of the first 3 that he converted. But he was awesome, awesome in 2008. A perfect 48 of 48 in save chances and other than Cole Hamels' work in the playoffs, Lidge was perhaps the biggest reason why 2 million people got to blow off work and see the Phillies' parade down Broad Street. He wasn't going to be perfect forever and besides, he might as well get these struggles out of the way early in the season. He's still Brad Lidge. He'll be fine. Lidge blew another save in Washington on May 15th, and in the meantime mixed in some shaky outings in non-save situations. Whatever. The Phillies still won a lot of those games. Problem? What Problem? There are absolutely no problems with the back of the Phillies bullpen. I pulled out the DVDs of the 2008 World Series to watch before I went to sleep at night. Newborns on Ambien don't sleep so soundly.

Anger. On May 23rd, the Phillies were in New York to play the Yankees. I live in New York. I got tickets. Decent ones, too. It was my first time at the new Yankee Stadium. It was my birthday. Raul Ibanez homered and I got to yell RAUUUUUUULLLL!!!!!! at all the Yankees fans. John Mayberry, Jr. went deep in his major league debut. The Phillies took a 4-2 lead into the bottom of the 9th when Lidge came on to close out the game. After he walked Johnny Damon, Lidge served up the game-tying home run to A-Rod. To make matters worse, the ball landed about 10 feet from where I was sitting in rightfield. The winning run would score later that inning. On Sportscenter that evening I could be seen, in my red Phillies shirt, throwing my head back in disgust as Yankees fans in blue either reached for the ball or celebrated. Brad Lidge ruined my birthday.

Bargaining. Brad Lidge blew a save the very next day. About 2 weeks later, he blew back to back saves in Los Angeles before going on the disabled list with some knee issues. Great, the reason for all of his problems was that he was hurt. We can deal with that. He'll take some time off to get healthy and then be back as good as new. The Phillies were playing well, and nobody else in the division was emerging as a real threat. Let's take the long view here. It's still early, and a healthy Brad Lidge will make all the difference, right? If his knee isn't hurting him, whatever mechanical issues should get fixed, won't they? He can take as long as he needs, work on the things he needs to work on, clear his head, and be his old self again. Charlie Manuel will stay loyal to him. The fans will give him all the support we can possibly give. We won't even boo him! I swear! He deserves our support for all he did for us last year. We'll do anything to get that Brad Lidge back.


Depression. Lidge came off the DL in late June and promptly gave up 2 runs in a 6-1 loss in Toronto. June turned to July. Lidge looked a little better, but not really. July turned into August. Lidge's ERA still hovered around 7. This isn't getting better. This isn't going to get better. Charlie Manuel isn't going to try anything else. Brad Lidge is Charlie's closer. Bottles of Scotch are mine. Lidge blows a save in Chicago. His defense lets him down in Atlanta. Lidge blows a save in Pittsburgh. He can't even close out the Pirates! I find I need to drink heavily during close games. I beg for Pedro Martinez to close games. I beg for Brett Myers to get healthy. It turns out nobody with the Phillies will take my calls. I'm sad. My stomach is in knots. This team is too damn good to have one player ruin everything. Hopelessness overwhelms me. There are no answers. There is no god. There is no Brad Lidge. I don't want to watch this anymore.

Acceptance. But I do. I keep watching. I watch because that's who I am. That's who I've always been. I don't know what else to do on a summer night besides watch the Phillies. And when Brad Lidge hung his eleventy-billionth slider of the year to Brett Carroll, and Brett Carroll did what any Major League hitter does to a hanging slider, I knew that this is who Brad Lidge is too. 2008 is a distant and wonderful memory, and the Brad Lidge that pitched in 2008 is gone. Perhaps not for good, but for 2009. What we are left with is the best offense in baseball, some fantastic starting pitching, and a bullpen that can't get anybody out. There's no fixing this folks, it's too late. Brad Lidge is our closer. Ask Charlie Manuel. Brad Lidge is his closer. I think he says it over and over hoping that he might eventually believe it. We are headed toward a scary end to our season in October. I remember the 1993 Phillies team that had an equally scary closer by the name of Mitch Williams. We all know how that ended. I was 11 and inconsolable at the time. Now? I've prepared myself. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy. The 2009 Phillies, as good as they are, aren't winning anything with Brad Lidge pitching the 9th inning of close games. There is nothing that we as fans can do but accept it. And scream our lungs out hoping that we are wrong.


If you're into that sort of thing, you can read me more often at MikeonthePhillies.